There is a sorrow of black men
that runs down the spine of me
that intertwines within the heart of me
when you are hurting
working
to find your truth
without me
you’ve been taught to doubt me
and i you
as we love in this place
branding each other
with hot words
metaphors
similes
i like you as
i love you like
i’ve been taught love is
beating you emotionally
and i beat you cause i love you
see me loving you to death?
trying to revive you within your last breath
i have been afraid to look into your eyes
denying you your place
has never been my intent
when you are gone
i roll in your scent until i smell you in my skin
the sin has been
that we have learned to be apart
learned to wear the mask
dance around the truth
we run from the possibility
that we could find God in our connection
this is the sorrow of black men
drowning in incubated tears
i am here my King
we shall not always sow while others reap
you won’t always weep without my arms for comfort
self-medicating while i was dedicating myself to
something
someone
else
there is a sorrow to black men
who feels so far away
today
i proclaim
i love you
i love the me that rest in your eyes
i swim past the tears
go against the tide
until the undercurrent of your ability to love me
sweeps me away
carries me today to an enlightened existence
you aren’t alone anymore
and i hate that i want to love you
and cannot
because maybe you have not un-learned the lesson
how to deny me
hunt for my tears
desensitization
today i miss you
everything you are
and not
i uncover the plot
to obliterate
our future
this interruption of this dance
it must begin with me
because i’ve seen for too long
my hurt
my dismay
translate to my boy child
who’d prefer wild to mild when loving a woman
because mamas are supposed to cry
i have drawn the picture
with the way i have loved you in the past
there is a sorrow of black boys
who become black men
who drown in immaturity
from not being able to cry
i know
you may think it emasculates you
i do know
we’ve been taught to have children & never marry
i carry that pain on my soul
but the harvest has come
we are the ones
our time is now to love
we will not always sow while others reap…
