tonight
she mourns
the loss of a child
held in the womb
but not yet in her arms
she cries
for the heart that no longer beats
beneath her own
she runs from home
and the uncompromising truth
that in the youth of her pregnancy
her child sleeps before waking
loses breath before taking the first

tonight
the tears are all she has
no affirmations
no positive spin
no blessing
somehow
she has lost her glow
her body knows
and has called Shiva
her belly once high with life
is now low
with morning

this broken woman has been carrying this seed
long beyond knowing
that it no longer grows inside her
she cannot bring herself
to dismember
a member
of her own making
taking down the child
of her purple aqua dreams
ripping the seams
of beautiful
of birth
of beginnings

she prays prayers
hoping they don’t fall upon deaf ears
to hear the infant heart that now sits still
she hopes to feel
the flutters
the kicks
the moving child
and while everything else says no
she cannot seem to let go
funeralize a dead child
stop the rocking of the sleeping fetus

Renée Michele ©September 19, 2008